It’s hard to find someone who’s smart, funny, adorable and a total badass. My only advice for you is, don’t forget to follow me.

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In a world of average, I’m savage.

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Be young. Be dope. Run the show.

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Please cancel my subscription to your issues.

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I’m out here hustling to claim what’s mine.

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Believing in yourself is the first secret to success.

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I only use Instagram to stalk.

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Scratch here to reveal my bio.

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Don’t be so quick to judge me. You only see what I chose to show you.

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We live in a society where pizza gets to your house before the police.

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Making (Insta) story.

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I’m not the jealous type, but what’s mine is MINE.

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Who else are you going to follow? Really!

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A coconut a day keeps the doctor away.

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Why look up at the stars when the biggest star is me.

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I get it from my mama.

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Forgive? Yes. Forget? Never.

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Stay a mystery, it attracts more curious people.

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Don’t try to change me.

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Good girl with a good playlist.

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You’re just jealous cuz I got swag.

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Living vicariously through myself.

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Insert pretentious stuff about myself here.

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Just a cupcake looking for a stud muffin.

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I was not born for mediocre.

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Where the heck am I? How did I get here?

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Hi, my hobbies include breakfast, lunch, and dinner.

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Where the heck am I? How did I get here?

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God bless this hot mess!

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I’m jealous of my parents, I’ll never be able to have a kid as cool as theirs.

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Why blend in when you born to stand out.

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I have to be funny because being hot just isn’t an option for me at this point.

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Make peace with your broken pieces.

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It’s never too late to be who you might have been.

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Savage attitude but a golden heart.

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Taking naps is so childish, I prefer to call them horizontal life pauses.

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I don’t look like this in real life.

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Cupcakes are muffins that believed in miracles.

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If you fall, worry not. The floor will be there.

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All my life I thought the air was free until I bought a bag of chips.

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I followed my heart, it led me to the fridge.

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This is my simple Coffee dependent life.

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I need 6 months of vacation twice a year.

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The future is shaped by your dreams. Stop wasting time and go to sleep!

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Give me the chocolate and nobody will get hurt.

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My only real long term goal is to end up on Ellen’s show.

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You can’t make everybody happy, you aren’t a jar of Nutella.

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It’s not a phase, it’s who I am.

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Maybe I’m born with it.

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My blood is made of coffee.

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I can resist everything except temptation.

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Never forget, the world is yours. Terms and conditions may apply.

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I wanna be different just like everyone else.

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A Nomad in search of the perfect burger.

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Acting like summer & walking like rain.

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God gave me a lot of hair, but not a lot of height.

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Naturally and artificially flavored.

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I smile because I have no idea what is going on anymore.

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Don’t follow me because I don’t even know where I’m going.

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All you hipsters need to stop wearing Nirvana shirts if you don’t even listen to them.

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Kind of a good samaritan, terrible athlete, but extremely blessed in the napping skills department.

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Bad decisions make for the best stories.

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Don’t like me? Don’t care.

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WiFi + food + my bed = PERFECTION.

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Living my dreams.