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Friday is my second favorite F word.

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It would be a privilege to have my heart broken by you.

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When I type “My Life” in Google, it shows do you mean “Happiness?”

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Money will bring you anything and everything, don’t let stupid quotes fool you.

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I never make the same mistake twice, I make it like five or six times, Just to be sure.

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In movies bad people always lost, but in reality, bad people always win.

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When your only tool is a hammer, all problems start looking like nails.

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The only thing I hate more than having a dirty house is cleaning.

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99 percent of lawyers give the rest a bad name.

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The reason why I hate mornings so much is that they start while I’m still sleeping.

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Artificial intelligence is no match for natural stupidity.

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Every one of us has a friend, who says he’ll be in 5 minutes, but comes in two hours.

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The last thing I want to do is insult you. But it is on the list.

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The only substitute for good manners is fast reflexes.

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Check out these captions and status also:

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Brains are wonderful, I wish everyone had one.

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Support bacteria – they’re the only culture some people have.

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Letting the cat out of the bag is a whole lot easier than putting it back in.

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Talk is cheap. Until you hire a lawyer.

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Sure, I’d love to help you out… now, which way did you come in?

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If you are here – who is running hell?

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Is your ass jealous of the amount of shit that just came out of your mouth?

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A recent study has found that women who carry a little extra weight live longer than the men who mention it.