• 1. A blind man walks into a bar’ And a chair’ and a table.
  • 2. There may be no excuse for laziness, but I’m still looking.
  • 3. I don’t always surf the internet, but when I do, eyebrows!
  • 4. Yesterday, I changed my WiFi password to Hack it if you can; today, someone changed it to Challenge Accepted.
  • 5. So, you’re on Instagram’ You must be an amazing photographer.
  • 6. Real men don’t take selfies.
  • 7. I haven’t done this in a while so excuse me.
  • 8. I’m your worst nightmare.
  • 9. Hey girl, feel my sweater. Know what it’s made of’ Boyfriend material
  • 10. If I was funny, I would have a good Instagram caption.
  • 11. I think you are lacking vitamin me!
  • 12. Life isn’t perfect… But my Hair is! #selfieaddict
  • 13. The moment when she says you’re cute.
  • 14. Weekend, please don’t leave me.
  • 15. When Instagram was down, I ran around town shouting ‘like’ at flowers, dogs, and expensive brunches.
  • 16. What if I told you, you can eat without posting it on Instagram.
  • 17. I liked memes before they were on Instagram
  • 18. Dancing is a perpendicular expression of a horizontal desire.
  • 19. God is really creative, I mean.. just look at me! 
  • 20. You only drink diet soda’ You must be so healthy.