I apologize for anything I post while hungry

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Humble, with just a hint of Kanye

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I’d rather steal your dessert than your boyfriend

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Sassy, classy with a touch of badassy

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One day, I hope to become a grown up

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Used to think I was a tad indecisive, but now I’m not quite sure

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Life is short so I’m smiling while I’ve still got all my teeth

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My hobbies are breakfast, lunch, and dinner topped with a chocolate dessert

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Relationship status: Netflix and ice cream

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The bags under my eyes are Chanel

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I’m actually not funny. I’m just really mean but people always think I’m joking.

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I’m a social media guru. No, really, I am.